British Laughs

We have really everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language.
-Oscar Wilde

This is quite true I think especially when I hear British jokes and sarcastic phrases.
Britons love word-games in which homophones are used.
Japanese Rakugo is somehow similar, maybe that's why I feel familiar to British jokes.

British humour also likes to laugh at some particular people, like Essex girls (they think Essex girls are stupid!), French people (obviously because of the war against Britain), Irish people (I think Britons are jealous of Irish natural sense of humour... there are so many funny and artistically talented people in Ireland), other foreigners... these jokes are almost like discrimination! (well, of course not really, they are just jokes, but still quite harsh)

As for American jokes, they are funny, and I think they are focused on general stories, rather than laughing at particular people or playing with words. I like American men and women jokes. But I heard some British people say very proudly 'Americans don't understand British humour!'... Ha. They may think Britons and Americans use different languages, as Oscar Wilde did... Or Britons are just so proud of themselves... and I've been living in the UK for 4 years and might be influenced by the Britishism . Anyway I love the country I live in and love their harsh jokes... ha ha.

I introduce some British jokes here...

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There was a man who painted rabbits all over his bald head.
Claimed they looked like hares from a distance.

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"Who was that lady I seen you with last night?"
"You mean 'I saw.'"
"Ok, who was that eyesore I seen you with last night?"

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An Essex girl was driving down the A13 when her car phone rang.
It was her boyfriend, urgently warning her, "Treacle, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the A13. Please be careful!"
"It's not just one car!" said the Essex girl, "There's hundreds of them!"

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English man, Irish man, Scottish man all work on a building site.

English man opens his sandwich and says 'Oh no, not ham again... I'm sick of it... If my wife has made me ham again tomorrow I'm jumping off that scaffolding!'
Scottish man opens his sandwiches and says 'Oh no, if I have got corned beef sandwiches again tomorrow, I'm jumping too!'
Irish man opens his sandwich and says 'Banana again! If I've got this tomorrow I'm joining you lads!'

Next day they all have the same sandwiches and all jump.

There wives are all at the funerals, English man's wife says 'Oh I'm so sad he is dead...I only made it for him because I thought it was his favourite (cry cry)!'
Scottish man's wife says same, 'I made it because I thought it was his favourite. Why didn't he tell me he was sick of corned beef sandwiches(cry)!'

Irish man's wife says, 'I don't know why he jumped...he made his own sandwiches.'

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